Hullo to you, my esteemed constituency,
 
OK, I've been watching our 'hits' on MySpace and the numbers of 'friend requests' and I think we have nearly reached our goal. The music has only been a cover:

It's time to start the revolution. And, I figure, may as well (while we've got the momentum) start a religion, or at least a minor cult. Something with a compound-- and I want robes and sandals (at least for when we get out of the shower). Polygamy would be groovy, but it's been done. Sooooo 15 minutes ago. We need something more all-inclusive, where everybody is married to everybody. It would prevent jealousy, and make it where we could all file income tax together under one household. And so Andy (our drummer) could get laid.
 
Now, just because I'm the lead singer doesn't mean I automatically get to be the, you know, high priest of the cult (however, I would like to be refered to as 'exhalted' if that's all cool). Andy has already changed his stage name to Reverend Cletus Clutch. If you would chant that during his drum solo, that would be great. We'll make the early 20th century banjo-player, Roscoe Holcomb our deity and I'll listen to his "etherworldly" commands through the resonator pot of my banjo, and relay to you all what we gotta do.

This brings us to the revolution.
 
We'll all get together and discuss - over green Kool-Aid, yes? - how to effectively conduct revolutions, because we ain't done it in over 200 years and we'll need some brush-up. We'll organize a treasure hunt for pitchforks and torches. I've already got a guillotine in the spare bedroom. It was my grandmother's, from her first marriage. Second thing we'll do-now get this-is boycott gasoline for one day. I know it's failed before, but WE'LL do it the smart way. We'll all buy OUR gasoline the day BEFORE the boycott. We'll abolish the two-party system and just make it one big gnarly fuckin' party, man! And total election reform. Old money and corporate influence won't decide our candidates anymore. Their selection will be based on three factors; symmetry of facial features, the highest level reached by their Dungeons & Dragons character, and they'll have to reach into a hollow log with a live Scorpion inside to retrieve the Scorpions' 1982 career-launching album, 'Big City Nights', without being fatally bitten.

OK, this Nooseletter is getting long and I've got to think awhile before telling you more. I welcome your ideas. We're in this together. Thanks for signing onto our website mailing list and, as your MySpace Friends, we love you. Expect the sealed envelopes with your first assignment very soon.

"Alabacharacus Hoobachoobie"--repeated together monotonously, with tapering enthusiasm at the end.

Exhalted Jalan Crossland Band

Jalan

P.S. Still looking for a fiddle player!!!!!